Interiority

Credibility arises when appearance and reality resemble each other, when interiority and exteriority align as much as possible, when what one preaches is in accord with how one lives, and when what is being said matches what is being done. Such authenticity must be the hallmark of the Disciples of Christ.

—Cardinal Reinhard Marx 

Ten years have passed since the sexual abuse crisis in our Church became known throughout the world. Horror, shock, denial, disbelief, and numbness are just a few of the many emotions that surfaced during those early months when news spread across the country that the innocence of children had been taken away by the very persons entrusted to take good care of them. Over and over again people tried to understand how this happened—how it all went wrong. Helping victims was paramount, and preventing it from happening again became the focus of thousands of our communities across the nation. Still, these many years later, people try to find answers, and more importantly, search to find deeper meaning and purpose in their lives. We want this particularly for the victims and their loved ones who deserve wholeness and a voice that is heard clearly and empathically. 

The way people gathered together to face an evil that was long over do for confrontation is outstanding. Naming the evil is still hard for many, but the duty for us all is to take action—educate ourselves, protect our vulnerable, and restore our good name by doing what we do best—better.

We have prayed these past ten years, and we continue to pray through our communal intentions, prayer groups, and parish prayer-line warriors. In convents, seminaries, religious houses, schools and parishes across the country we prayed for forgiveness, atonement, peace, and restoration of faith. We would have been lost without prayer. Our best attempts at education and prevention have succeeded because of the power of prayer. 

These prayers uttered on the lips, in the minds, hearts, and souls of thousands upon thousands of our faithful brothers and sisters opened doors that were closed and tightly locked. They softened hardened hearts and offered clarity to clouded minds. They formed bridges where roads were ruined and paths to places where all was thought lost. 

The power of prayer was in no way diminished during this horrible crisis; it was forged stronger. We may have lost parish buildings, schools, and institutions, but we gained strength in the unity and bond of Christianity. Issues may have separated us, but Faith sustained us and continues to do so. The search for answers and meaning brought us deeper into ourselves, united us, and bound us to God in ways we never thought possible.

Through the sharing of deep and painful stories, angry betrayals, and questions about everything we believe and hold true, we found our strength in God and in the persons, places, and things He has sent our way through these difficult and lonely times. Through the search for truth, we came to know each other and our God more intimately than ever.

Jesus, the center of all we are, who we are, and what we are, was always the key. We were forced to make our actions match our thoughts and words. We came face to face with the consequences of our sinfulness and we took responsibility to make it right again. And in many cases we fixed what others had broken, embracing our Christianity with pride, honor, humility, and courage. 

At the Vatican Global Summit On Sexual Abuse and pastoral leadership last February, “Towards Healing And Renewal,” Cardinal Reinhard Marx of Germany shared these profound words.

The very fact that the Church is an institution for the good, indeed stands for that which is holy explains why the shock was so profound both within and outside of the Church. What is holiness? For Jesus it was—In a very particular way—the unison between the interior and the exterior of people's lives. He himself is the image par excellence of holiness. He is what he says, there is no discrepancy between appearance and reality. His life is identical with his mission, his actions are identical with his words.

This is what the sexual abuse crisis has called us back to being. Our inner life and our deeds must match. Failure to deepen one’s inner life, turning away from prayer, and ignoring our spiritual selves is exactly what gets people in to the worst kind of trouble.

Where was God during the crisis? Where was the Church? Where does the Church want us to be? These painful questions lead us to inner dialogue and push us to communicate with others, and with hope, our good and loving God. There is no other way around it. 

As Disciples of Christ, we must remind ourselves constantly of the need to open our minds and hearts to God. Making sense of the horrors we have all undergone can only be transformed through the power of our inner life of prayer. United as Church in these prayers we garner the power to change the world.

Works Cited

Cardinal Reinhard Marx: “The Church, Abuse and Pastoral Leadership” Towards Healing And Renewal: Vatican Global Summit On Sexual Abuse, Rome, February 2012.

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