Fostering Friendships Between Kids We Serve

Most of us recognize what an extraordinary impact childhood friendships (or the lack thereof) had on our own development. The best buddy who always had our back helped us feel secure, connected and ready to take on adventure. The fickle friendships that quickly soured taught us that healthy reciprocal relationships are not always easy to come by. Our true friends affirmed our talents and virtues, while our false ones made us doubt our self-worth.

Now, as caring adults, we have the opportunity to encourage solid friendships between the youth we serve. Of course, this guidance will take on vastly different shapes depending on if we're communicating with 5-year-olds or 15-year-olds, but here are a few things we can do at any stage:

  • Give kids the opportunity to meet new people. Rather than always maintaining the same alphabetical seating arrangements or project partners, find creative ways for kids to spend time with new people. Friendships are not always instantaneous--it can take some kids a while to find their "tribe".
  • Demonstrate and share the importance of friendship. Weave themes of friendship into religious education class, reading aloud and other lessons. It is important for kids to hear through words and examples what a good friendship looks like and what it can bring to their life. 
  • Encourage positive friendship skills. From a young age, teach and model to kids the foundational skills of sharing, listening to one another and practicing generosity. These lessons never grow old as even adolescents (maybe especially adolescents!) need reminders that friendship is just as much about giving as receiving.
  • Provide friendships an opportunity to grow. If you notice a friendship that seems to be fruitful, allow it to flourish! Perhaps give both kids a chance to serve in a volunteer position together or lead a project. 
  • Model friendship. The kids you serve may or may not see you around your friends, but they will notice the way you treat others. As you show interest in other people's lives, treat each person with respect, and open your heart to those you encounter. You are more of a witness than you know!
     

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