Holy Week: Who Am I?
By Paul Ashton, Psy.D., D.Min.
Consultant to the VIRTUS® Programs
It would do us good to ask one question: Who am I? Who am I before my Lord? Am I able to express my joy, to praise him? Or do I keep my distance? Who am I before Jesus who is suffering?
—Pope Francis
We stand now in the holiest week of the year, walking with our fellow pilgrims on the road through Jerusalem, then Mount Zion, Gethsemane and finally to Calvary. It is a tough week filled with much Hope as we begin, and then soon we are faced with the worst of what humanity can perpetrate. Betrayal, mocking and violence shake us to our core.
The journey through Holy Week is an intimate journey with Christ. We share in his passion when we walk through these days with him, and we are all the stronger and better for doing so. But going through the days, listening to the story of Jesus’ passion and death and walking through the rituals, we are led deeper into ourselves—into our own inner experiences. There is an old traditional hymn whose first lines allow the singer to sum up the fullness of Holy Week: “Oh! What could my Jesus do more, or what greater blessings impart?”
Indeed, what more could Jesus have done to show us His Love? We are blessed beyond compare, and our only response should be “What can we do in return?”
Pope Francis asks us to ponder the question “Who am I before my Lord?” It goes right to the core of our personhood, stripping away all of the external philosophies, politics and ideals. Asking ourselves the question puts us on the spot to make a judgment about everything we are. And so these holy days it might be a good spiritual exercise to ponder Pope Francis’ reflections:
Who am I?
Does what I do match what I say and think about myself? Do I have an ideal that I am constantly reaching for? Do I acknowledge the reality of who I am? Am I honest about who I am with myself and with others? Am I hiding? Is there a big gap between whom I say I am and who I am? Do I work hard each day to make that gap smaller?
Who am I before my Lord?
Do I go to the Lord with the fullness of who I am? Do I share my heart’s joys and sorrows, my struggles, my needs, my desires and wants? Do I count Jesus as my best friend? Do I rely upon Him and His power in my life? Do I seek him in my darkness and ask for light? Do I run from Him and fool myself by hiding in the darkness? Do I blame others for the darkness I bring to myself and my life? Do I take responsibility for what I do and have done? Do I minimize, rationalize and justify my behaviors allowing me to remain in the darkness?
Am I able to express my joy, to praise him? Or do I keep my distance?
Do I count on the fact that Jesus loves me tremendously? Do I thank Him when I succeed and blessings come my way? Do I sing His praises? Do I dance with Joy? Do I try each day to get closer to closer to Him? Do I nudge my way to the front of the crowd leaving behind all of my stressors, woes and challenges to bring my happiness to the front of the line to share with Him? Do I smile when I meet Him in a stranger? Do I reach out and touch Him in the unclean? Do I draw closer to Him by trying to be forgiven by those whom I have hurt?
Who am I before Jesus who is suffering?
Do I run away and hide in fear? Do I deny Him in not fighting for those who need Him most? Do I reach out to Him in the hurt, wounded and oppressed? Do I judge rather than show mercy? Do I seek to change others instead of lightening their pain? Do I fail to see Jesus in my brothers and sisters who are different?
Holy Week is a pilgrimage and a Love story. There is no way around it, only through it. Be brave and bold as you journey through. There is pain, but the resurrection fills our hearts with joy and washes all of the sadness away. “At dusk weeping comes for the night; but at dawn there is rejoicing.” Psalm 30:6
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